This Is Cruel. This Is Life.

by PUSH!

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

      €8.50 EUR  or more




"This Is Cruel. This Is Life." 2016
Hellxis Records


released January 4, 2016

Produced and Mixed by Paulo Basílio in TDA Studios. (PT)
Drums Recorded by Tiago Mesquita in Nox Messor Sound Studios. (PT)
Mastered by Brad Boatright in Audiosiege Studios (USA)



all rights reserved


PUSH! Lisbon, Portugal

contact / help

Contact PUSH!

Streaming and
Download help

Track Name: Anymore
I've been handed nothing
All I have was earned with sweat and tears
But now I realize that nothing is all I have
And everything I earn turns to dust

No future for me
Harsh reality is better than false hope
The way forward does not accept me anymore.

Pure things are hard to find
When every inch of happiness is gone
The eyes are useless when the mind is blind
You fulfill my dreams, and I destroy yours

Track Name: CULT
Searching for help
Desperate for something new
Swimming slowly to the surface
Without a clue
Where am I going?
I keep asking myself, why am I tied to this sunken anchor.

Maybe this is where I belong
You call it strange, I call it home

I keep hiding myself, it's a mindset.
You don't know me, you never will.
This is my ritual, my cult, my life, but you will never understand it.
Track Name: Paradise Lost
What happened to us?
Destruction and self-defense are the main news
Seasons change and so do we
But it’s too bad that stupidity isn’t painful, see?

I have this strange feeling of living in a paradise lost
And the only way to succeed is to be cruel like you.
Human like you

I can't give up on my dreams
They will never give up on me.

As a kid I thought that everything would be alright
The love, the joy, the happiness
But now I realize life is only a ring to fight
The pain, the regrets, the madness

And if you feel desperate with live
Don’t even think of crying.
Track Name: No One To Blame
I regret all my good deeds
I thought that karma wouldn’t affect me
I see people that don’t deserve their lives
Throwing stones living in a glass house

I walk my path with no luck on my side
I see the happiness pass me by
Injustice surrounds me
Everyone is a victim, and no one suffers but me

No one to blame but myself

I will emerge as a titan
Man I’ve got nothing to lose, but don’t abuse me
Watch me climb the hill while you fall
I’ll touch the clouds and owe you nothing

This is so cruel. This is life.
Track Name: Life Is unfair

Life is unfair;

Don't tell me otherwise 'cause you're lying to me
I've got the wounds of Christ and they don't disappear
Don't tell me everything is gonna be alright
God didn't answer when I begged him for light, on this place

Different people, different places, but am I moving forward?
Same reasons, same convictions, but I have no reward for everything I give

Life is unfair

Earth is the devil’s paradise (Life is unfair)
And I'm the one who’ll sacrifice (Life is unfair)

Track Name: Hit Me With Fear
I've never been so numb in my entire life
Man I'm being hypnotized, shackled, like everyone else

Imagine a prison where you can't see the bars, that's where we are
You think you're free, think again, think again while they let you

While they let you breathe
While they let you live

I've never been so alone in my entire life
Between four walls I'll wait, I'll wait for my demise

They keep us far away from each other, so that divided we fall
You think you're free, think again, think again while they let you

While they let you
Track Name: Soulless
Look at my bloody hands,
I am an old killer who never found his soul.
Without a trace I'll leave this place.
I'll swallow the pain before I go insane.

Why do I have to regret every time?
Living with guilt, as the blood runs cold
Why do I have to regret every time?
If I'm the man who has no soul

Fuck your tears, I also exist.

Don’t look back,
For every action there's cruel reaction
For every sin there's an evil attraction,
And hell awaits me

Am I a broken man?
Or just a guy waiting to be fixed
I try to forget all these wounds.
Just believe in your epiphanies, son

Why do I have to regret every time?
Living with guilt, as the blood runs cold
Why do I have to regret every time?
If I'm the man who has no soul

No soul.
Fuck your tears
No more tears

You might just keep far away
I need no flowers on my grave
You might just keep far away
I don't deserve them anyway

No more tears.
Track Name: This Is Cruel. This Is Life.
Take everything you want
Every piece of me
Left with nothing I'll wait for sobriety.

I know that is all in my head
Pure frustration and regret
I won't let you see through my heavy eyes
Depression saw my inside and got scared of me
Depression saw my inside ran away, forgave me

One day my reign is over, but I will be forever in your ear.
This is cruel. This is life.